OMG...nothing is sacred

I just discovered that not only did my husband read my hand written journal but he also snooped onto my computer and found this. I try to have something personal and he just has to get right in there and take it from me. He doesn't tell me everything he does or everything he's thinking about. Even if I try to ask him he clams up and won't talk. I need these as a way of getting things off my mind. This blog and my journal are my ways of talking things out when I have no friends available. It's also sometimes easier to just write it than to talk it to someone because they have things on their minds and things going on in their lives, they don't need to worry about what's going on in my life all the time. I know I shouldn't think like that but my friends that I trust the most have a lot going on in their lives right now that make my issues seem like child's play. I know this because they talk to me also. We all need friends we can turn to but there are times when we need to figure things out for ourselves. No one can make a decision for us, that would in turn give us someone to blame without taking responsibility for our own.

Well I guess I'm done ranting for now (wonder if he'll admit it if he reads this...LMAO). I have homework to get done now that he is off to work and I have the house all nice and quiet and to myself.

Sharing Money

I have always been under the understanding that married couples were suppose to share finances and financial responsibility. Begining of March we opened a joint account with our income tax return so that household bills would be separate from our personal bills. I just found out today that two bills were not paid when they should have been and we are now coming up on the new due dates with not enough money in the joint account to cover it. You see, he's expecting a check and spent some of the money with the plans to "pay it back" when this other check comes in. Well, we are still waiting for this other check, still waiting for unemployment money to come in and nothing from his measly little part-time position has gone in the joint account. I'm getting sick of him keeping his financial status secret from me. He uses his ex-wife as a reason. She handled all the bills and money, stopped paying the bills, saved the money, and left him with $20 to his name...cleaned out the account. So I guess he thinks I'm going to do the same thing. Guess you really shouldn't marry someone you don't trust. There are so many things going wrong here I'm getting sick of it and about to either blow up at him or just kick him out without explaination which wouldn't actually happen but it will give him too much room for excuses and promises that won't be able to be kept. If it was just possible to talk to him without him getting defensive we could probably avoid all this, but he always gets defensive and then blames things on me, no matter what it is.

Thanks again for "listening"